Where did it go wrong?

The F word. The word that has been flying all around the world causing men to feel extremely uncomfortable. We all know the word I am talking about. Yes, I am talking about f*minism. I know I shouldn’t use such a word. I might give men the impression that hating them is my passion and I want to kick them off the world.

Anyway, feminism, as per Merriam-Webster means: “the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities” and nothing else. Nowhere, I repeat, nowhere does it translate to men bashing. The term used for that is misandry, but not feminism. Feminism demands nothing but equal rights. Women empowerment does NOT mean pulling men back. It means walking together. Men, just like women, are human beings. Just because they are born men does not mean that they have it all easy, all figured out.

Feminism went wrong when people started taking it as something that puts men and women against each other. It went wrong when some people started using it to make everyone believe that women need to be superior to men. Feminism went wrong when some people began to think men are against the growth of women. It went wrong where women started misusing the laws. It went wrong when people forgot it was only about equality and not about putting one gender on the top.

Feminism also went wrong when some men started believing that all feminists are pseudo-feminists and are out to kill and eat them. It went wrong when men confused chivalry and equality.

Feminism, in reality, went wrong when men and women, both forgot the definition of feminism.

The up side of down

The most loving and caring people you have ever met are likely those who have known defeat, heartbreak and have found their way out of the depths of their own despair. Experiencing difficult times help you. They really do. This might be sounding like a fairy tale or something in which nothing’s true but trust me when I say this, it is true. You grow with experiences, not years.

Bad experiences can be anything, from a breakup to the death of a loved one. Anything. Everyone has their own way of dealing with situations and everyone has different levels of up to how much they can deal with things. A bad experience makes you stronger than you ever wanted to be. The experience makes you realize that life is hard but it moves on (and you have to accept it). You start noticing the grief in other people. If you’ve ever gone through the loss of losing a loved one to death, you know what I am saying. When you talk to someone who has lost a loved one, you cry because you’re familiar with the pain and you know how much it hurts. After a bad experience, in the course of time you endure the pain and move on (but never get over it) rather it becomes a part of who you are. Once you’re done with the process, you start loving people, you start caring about them m ore than you used to do. You become thankful for life and you realize what actually good times mean. After something bad has happened to you, it’s up to you to make the change and to cope up with the situation. But once you do, it will surely change your life for the better.

We need to accept that pain is an unavoidable part of life. It is a reality everyone has to deal with. There are good times and there are bad times. When hard times hit, you can either let your situation demolish you or let it strengthen you. The choice is yours to make. You know you’re doing it the right way when you have so much to shed tears and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate the beauty of life instead. All you need to remember is that there is always (ALWAYS) something to be thankful for, you just need to find it.

The loss

Losing a loved one is one of the most life changing experiences. It happens to everybody at some point or another. It is a journey which no one wants to go.  It is messy, dark, tragic and brutal. It knocks you off and makes you incapable of almost everything you wish to do. All you do during that phase is regret what has happened, blame yourself for things you could have done but you didn’t. Grief suddenly thrusts upon you. This grief marks the end of an era, the end of a journey with the person you love. It doesn’t matter what relationship it was- it is always a tragedy. Losing someone has to be one of the most painful things.

Everyone copes with grief differently, some of us never do. The guilt of not doing things you could’ve done for them and with them traps you. In the course of time, you start forgetting their voice. The space between the times you miss them grows longer and you feel guilty for not missing them often. It’s not that you don’t try to be happy. You try. A lot. You think of all the happy times with them but end up thinking of their closed eyes. You start carrying them inside you. But with the passage of time, things change eventually. You accept the fact that things are changed and you try to cope up with them. Sadness always remains, but in the course of time it gets beautiful because it is not about the loss anymore, it is about the memories.

At the end, you’re left with some really good and bad memories. There are things death cannot touch. Death changes almost everything, but not memories. Trust me when I say this, once you have experienced the loss of a loved one, you come out as a stronger and a better person.

At least, I did.

The pros and cons

As much as people judge me for this, I have always been the girl who has guys as friends (and best friends). To my every guy friend, thank you for sticking by my side. I don’t really want to say this but having you all in my life is a blessing in and of itself ( ..I might be kidding).

Having a guy friend or a best friend has its own perks.

1. So much less drama (I SWEAR).
2. So much more understanding.
3. Easy to handle
   Read point 1. When you mess up, which you aren’t immune to doing just because you’re girl, they don’t take long to forgive. A sincere apology works for them. Whereas for a girlfriend fight, it often (OFTEN) means 54655456 different types of looks and days of barely talking to each other.
4. You get nicknames. Good or bad but NICKNAME.
5. They have your back, like always. (Yey)
6. Always ready for the illogical conversations.
7. Cracking jokes are always fun. Even when your jokes aren’t funny.

But as they say, everything has its own pros and cons. Coming to the cons,

1. RUMORS.
2. They always forget to reply.
3. You’ll get jealous easily.
4. Biggest critics. Useless ones too.
5. You get teased a lot. A LOT.

 

In the end (no matter how much I hate to say this), there are WAY more pros than cons to having guy friends or best friends.

PS: Thank me later for this.

 

 

Are we taking comedy too seriously?

After the most talked about AIB Knockout roast which by the way raised around 40 lakh for charity, we all know that some punches just don’t sit well with people. If you don’t know what the whole controversy was about, I’ll take you through the story. AIB Knockout was a roast comedy show held in Mumbai starring Ranveer Singh and Arjun Kapoor as the roast and Karan Johar as the host. The panel had Tanmay Bhat, Gursimran Khamba, Abish Mathew, Rohan Joshi, Ashish Shakya, Raghu Ram and Aditi Mittal. The show was uploaded (with a warning about the content, of course) on YouTube on 28th of January 2015. It went viral in a very less time but it had to be removed from the website on the 3rd of February, just after 2 days of its release. Several complaints were received by the Mumbai Police and a FIR was filed.

Every person with an internet connection took it as their birthright to comment on the video and then prevailing situation. All the platforms of social media were filled with posts terming the video as a national shame, forgetting to realize the fact that the video had warned the audience about its content. I am still trying to figure out what was the problem all about when the people in the show were quite comfortable with the jokes and weren’t offended at all. If you don’t like it then just don’t watch it. Or read the warning carefully, maybe? The people sitting in that auditorium agreed to NOT to be offended.

Shouldn’t we as citizens save our energy and all the strength to raise our voice against things that really matter like gender inequality, corruption and many many many more issues? Why the envelope is pushing us back when all we are trying to do is pushing the envelope. Comedy is an integral part of our humanity and also essential for our psychological well-being. The beauty of comedy lies in not feeling guilty for enjoying its lighter side. And all the comedians out there, get a really great lawyer because you never know when, why and how something hurts someone.

The other side of failure

I remember when I learned to ride a bicycle for the very first time, I fell over. I tried again, I fell again. This happened over and over again. I scraped my elbows and knees and cried a lot. But I didn’t stop trying and soon I was riding the bicycle like I have done it all my life, just like everyone else.

Behind every success story is an embarrassing first effort, a stumble, a fall, a setback. Success is achieved by fixing the mistakes rather than trying to get the things right in the very first time. Failure hurts, for sure but it is an important part of life. Don’t consider failures as disappointments but consider them as the steps towards the success. Steve Jobs, the god of gadgets, launched his tech career by hacking landlines to make free long distance calls. Thomas Edison, whose most memorable invention was the light bulb, purportedly took him 1,000 tries before he developed a successful prototype (1,000 steps to the success).

I have failed many more times I’d like to admit. And if you’re anything like me (…a human being), you’ve also most likely failed over and over.  I know, failure can’t be enjoyed and celebrated but it does make us into better persons. Failure, as they say, is the life’s greatest teacher. It’s only through failure that we learn the greatest lessons that life could teach us. Failure gives us the experience of failing at something which further alters our mind and helps us transform and improve our future-selves. We eventually learn from failures. The knowledge gained from one failure can be used further to avoid that very failure from happening again.

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.” – Samuel Beckett

As Samuel Buckett says, we need to understand and realise that it’s completely okay to fail. But it’s not okay to give up.

Beauty

As they say, beauty is necessary for humans, without beauty we shrink. Beauty is captivating, creates attraction, attachment and generates emotions. Beauty can’t be had enough, ever. Neither is it restricted. It is everywhere; let it captivate all of you.

“Though we travel the world to find the beauty, we must carry it with us or we find it not.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Listen to the wind as it strikes the leaves of the tree standing tall somewhere near you. See how the leaves move with the air effortlessly. Talk to a person about something they love and see the sparkle and hopes in their eyes. Take out the time to appreciate the lyrics of a song, they are beautiful (like, really). I guarantee you, it will always be the little things that make your life special and remarkable, not the materialistic ones.

We all have moments in which we ponder deep philosophical questions.  One of the questions that I have always asked myself is, ‘why do some things appear beautiful to some people and not others?’ The answer might be that the extent to which we notice and appreciate true beauty in our lives is proportionate to the amount of time we spend being happy. In other words, when we are at peace with ourselves, the world seems to be a more beautiful place. Another question that puzzles me is why do we humans have a tendency to focus on the negative in everything rather the focusing on the positives? Why do we count our misfortunes problems and misfortunes before we count our blessings? Why not focus on the things you’re grateful for and appreciate the beauty of everything? Everything has beauty, you just need to see it.

As Ashley Smith said, “Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”

The Beginning

Hey there, people!

So, this is me, Samta Rajan, a student of Bachelor of Journalism and Mass Communication starting a blog for my college assignment. To be honest, writing is not my cup of tea. Like, not even a bit. But as they say, “Try to learn something about everything and everything about something”, I thought of giving it a chance.

Talking more about me, I am a happy-go-lucky person (most of the times), often seen staring at my mobile screen and sometimes, even walls. I am just another 20-year-old something who doesn’t have his/her life sorted yet but still manages to be alive. Since the day I was born, I have been continuously making people feel extra fat (not even kidding).

I won’t be having any content bracket for my blog and will be writing about random topics, as the name suggests. I hope this turns out to be a great experience and an amazing journey from this point to a mysterious one.